Thoughts.

It’s been  a day since this blog was posted – well two now since its past 12am – but I guess this post is just going to be a diary, well a one page diary. This post will probably be about something that I haven’t told anyone about before. My dad got diagnosed with a brain tumor  called Craniopharyngioma. The Wikipedia definition of a  Craniopharyngioma is that it’s a type of brain tumor derived from pituitary gland embryonic tissue, that occurs most commonly in children but also in men and women in their 50s and 60s. He got diagnosed back when I was in the 8th grade which means I was about 13 years old. When something like this happens at an age like 13 it really throws you off the rails. Back when every girl was talking about the latest fashion or what was new at Sephora all I could think about was the next operation and the one after that and so on. My dad has always been my favorite parent and it wasn’t because my mom is a bad parent or anything, she’s the opposite really but because I was always daddy’s little girl. Dad not being well caused me to fall into a endless pit of depression.

Depression is an ugly thing. Looking back at it now I wish my mom had taken me to get medical help. Anyway I guess what I wanted to say was that it’s really hard to live when one of your parents is sick and can’t remember your name. At school I felt like i could fake a smile and if I did that I wouldn’t have to tell anyone about what was going on at home. School became a safe haven someplace I would go to for 5 days and try to forget about the problems at home. It became a place i could talk to my friends about what the latest trend is and what to wear if we ever hung out.

Its been 4 years since my dad first got diagnosed with brain tumor and the ride has been pretty damn bumpy. 6 operations later I still don’t know where this tumor will take us next. I can’t talk to my mom about this because I don’t want to be an added burden. Mom wants me to try to talk to my cousins about how I feel, but they don’t know what my family has been through and will never know how I’ll feel no matter how many times I try to explain. I really do wish there was someone I could talk to. There is just so much going on that its hard to put it into words and the next thing I know is that im crying myself to sleep. Again.

I’m pretty sure I have now bored you with my sob story but i just wanted to get it off my chest. I made this blog as a place i could talk about the things i liked and the things i want to do in my life. For instance, i just graduated from high school which is kinda cool i guess? Now I’m off to do AS Level (which is basically 12th grade if you didn’t know) when school starts in September. Anyway I’m going stop right here because firstly my pizza is here and secondly my pizza is here.

Until next time, Goodbye my fellow Earthlings .

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15 thoughts on “Thoughts.

  1. I can’t imagine how hard this may be for you, but honestly the best advise is to take each day and make the most of it. Make memories. Cherish each other. It’s times like these that bring people together. I know it seems like there’s no light at the end of the tunnel, but there is. And never feel like your weak to feel pain or sadness because you’re human and if you need to talk to someone you should. Stay strong. My prayers go out to your dad and family. Xx.

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  2. It takes immense strength to write a post and share with the whole world! Stay brave as you’ve always been… I can only imagine what you’re going through… Us fellow bloggers are here for you. Sending you love and hugs 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hey Hun, if you need someone to talk to about this I can definitely lend you an ear. My uncle/godfather passed away last year due to cancer and battled courageously but I definitely know about the burden, he didn’t have any children and treated me like his own, follow me on Twitter or something just search sophiashikarix and dm me if you need to, stay strong and keep blogging, you’re amazing xxx

    Liked by 1 person

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